ANNIE DALBY

Grieving during this time doesn't mean you are not strong or resilient; it simply means you are human. Allow yourself the space to grieve, to miss your loved one, and to acknowledge that the holiday season might be challenging.

In this season of giving, I have a present for you. I know — you are grieving and tired and disoriented and bereft. The last thing you want to think about is giving or receiving gifts. But this one is small and beautifully wrapped in your favorite paper and sprinkled with sparkling glitter. Can you see it? It has your name on it. Come, take it from my hands. I’ll sit with you while you open it.

I’m so glad you’ve opened your present! A pair of glasses … rather plain looking … nothing too fancy but please, read the tag. “Self-Compassion Glasses.” I hope this doesn’t sound inane to you; please stay with me here! What else does the tag say? “Take a deep breath. Breathe in all the peace and goodwill I send you. Breathe out as much pain and strife as you can. Put on the glasses.”

Yes! That’s you standing right before your eyes.

Now, as you put on those Self-Compassion Glasses, let them be a reminder that it's okay to give yourself grace during this holiday season. The holidays can be a time of immense joy, but they can also amplify feelings of loss and loneliness, especially after the loss of a loved one. Grieving during this time doesn't mean you are not strong or resilient; it simply means you are human. Allow yourself the space to grieve, to miss your loved one, and to acknowledge that the holiday season might be challenging.

Remember, it's perfectly normal to feel a mix of emotions during this time, and you don't have to put on a facade of constant cheerfulness. Give yourself permission to prioritize your emotional well-being and take breaks when needed. Whether it's a quiet moment of reflection or seeking support from friends and family, know that you are not alone. The Self-Compassion Glasses are a gentle reminder to treat yourself with kindness, understanding that the journey through grief is unique for everyone. Embrace the ebb and flow of emotions, and allow the holiday season to unfold at a pace that feels right for you.

Annie is a Clinician and Spiritual Director for Cornerstone of Hope Columbus.