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Pregnancy & Infant Loss

The grief that accompanies a miscarriage, stillbirth, or loss of a baby can be complex and intense, and require time to process.

The grief that you may experience following a miscarriage or pregnancy loss may not receive the validation and support that other types of losses often do. Also, you may have experienced multiple losses. Pregnancy loss can happen very quickly, and it can take a while for you to make sense of what is happening. In some instances, your loss may have occurred before others even knew about your pregnancy. You may grieve not just for the baby you have lost, but also for your sense of yourself as a parent, and your plans and hopes for the future.

In addition to dealing with feelings of loss, you also may need to find a way to move forward. The loss of a baby can be particularly painful, and there is no timeline for grief.

Self-Care while grieving the
loss of an infant

Take care of your health. After a pregnancy loss, it is very important to take care of yourself. You may find it helpful to take some time off from work. It is important to drink lots of fluid, rest as much as possible, and follow-up with your medical provider for after-care.

Take time to adjust. Go at a comfortable pace and be easy on yourself. There is no rush.

Talk with your partner.  Partners can be devastated by pregnancy loss, and each person may grieve differently. It is important to treat each other with respect. By recognizing, understanding and accommodating differences, couples can begin to understand that they are both grieving, just in different ways. Try to listen to each other so that you can understand your partner’s pain and sadness, what helps them, and how you can support them.

Rely on your support system. Let family and friends know when you want to talk about your feelings. When possible, accept their offers of help and company. Rely on friends and family who listen without judgment. It is good to have a few suggestions for letting others know exactly what they can do that will be supportive. Suggestions might include help with groceries or dinner, assistance entertaining other children, joining you for a walk or a movie, contacting other friends for you, or just sitting with you while you cry.

Say goodbye. It can be helpful to find a way to recognize the loss of your baby. Deciding to honor your loss with a ritual is a very personal decision and there are many possible options. Some parents choose to hold a funeral or memorial service for the baby. Others choose to recognize the loss in a more personal way, perhaps purchasing an ornament or piece of jewelry or releasing a balloon. Others may choose to plant a tree or flower in memory of the baby. Such rituals are concrete actions that can help give the loss meaning and serve as a way to honor your own grief.

See your doctor. Keep up with visits to your healthcare provider, especially if you have physical complications surrounding the loss of your baby. Let your healthcare provider know if you are having trouble taking care of your everyday activities, like getting dressed or fixing meals.

Heart of My Heart

Heart of My Heart is Cornerstone of Hope’s program for parents who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or loss of an infant under the age of 2 years. 

From the moment we learn that we will be a mother or a father, we love the baby more than we could imagine.  Our hearts expand so much to provide all the love that our child will need.  Following the loss of a baby, we are never the same again, and our hopes and dreams are now changed.  You are not alone in your grief, and we understand the significant pain of loss that you are experiencing.

Cornerstone of Hope’s Heart of My Heart program includes the following:

  • Support Groups—Held quarterly for parents. This group allows individuals and couples the opportunity to share this monumental loss and begin to heal together. Grief issues related to this type of loss will be explored, and we will also discuss the specific needs that arise from the loss of an infant.
  • Individual Counseling—Personalized grief counseling for individuals who have experienced the loss of an infant. In these sessions, our licensed professional counselors will support you on your personal grief journey.
  • Couples Counseling—Personalized grief counseling for couples who have experienced the loss of an infant. In these sessions, our licensed professional counselors will work with you as a couple as you journey together through your grief.
  • Mother’s Day Tea—This luncheon for mothers who have experienced infant loss is held annually in May.
  • Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Service—An annual remembrance service in October for parents who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss
  • Men Grieve Too—This monthly program for men who have lost a loved one features a different topic or theme for each event.
  • Mom’s Club—A monthly gathering for moms who have suffered pregnancy or infant loss and want to connect with other moms in a similar situation.

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